teenagenicks:

[opens pizza box] *snoop dogg voice* greetings loved ones

(Source: unfollowthisblogitisaspamblog)

455,108 notes

baracknobama:

they dont even sell garages at garage sales

(Source: baracknobama)

108,601 notes

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

177,646 notes

coca-koala:

It’s so sad that some of the loveliest and kindest people dislike themselves a lot

(Source: doll-ballet)

945,193 notes

humorking:

my hobbies include looking at text posts and wondering how i didn’t think of them first

104,239 notes

urtube:

How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?

404,461 notes

snorlaxatives:

i love when strangers walk by and smile at you

299,640 notes
cosmo sex tip #669

raynarvaezjunior:

when you grab his shaft, yell “pull the lever kronk”

132,172 notes